I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I wannas sexs uuuuu
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
