He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
