Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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