If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
