how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
