i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
