I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize