apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
