I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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