Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I want you more than these girls want KFC
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
