Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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