This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
