I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize