brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
