OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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