Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
