Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The struggles of a small town man whore
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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