Don't you send me to vm
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
