I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
