Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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