I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
