Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
