she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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