We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
