So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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