West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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