I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
