and she was petting her beer can
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
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