I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
