I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
