i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
