Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
