Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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