Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
