I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My feet surprised me
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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