I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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