I just saw a hot homeless man
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
the day after is always just damage control
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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