Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
