i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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