Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
