i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
