i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
