At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
