Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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