I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i may or may not be watching the land before time
apparently the secret to your success is patron
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
