I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
