Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
