and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
