it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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