I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
