If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
